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While there have been many horrible things that have happened to me during my 21 years of life, I can happily say that at least I’ve never shit myself during a one-nht stand. It was 11 days of beers, b laughs and bellyfuls of Indonesian cuisine. I gathered my undergarments and fled the scene of the crime.

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I was loving the worldwide exploration as a single gal and never was there a riper moment for seizing single-ness by the gonads than when we joined forces with Lauren’s boyfriend Ryan and his troop of NINE male friends on an island off Bali. Apparently this instruction didn’t translate and the torch-bearer continued to advance until the scene was unmistakable: 22-Year Old Woman Sh*ts Herself on Beach. At least this visage of horror scared the official away and I found myself hidden in the comforting shroud of darkness once more.

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It all began in May 2013, during an eht-month backpacking adventure with my friend Lauren.

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Either way, this poor woman off of Cosmopolitan topped whatever poop-filled-destruction I could ever have hoped to achieve by not just having explosive diarrhea once, but twice in the same nht after a one-nht stand. And by ‘story’ I don’t mean a roses-and-champagne fairytale; I mean a warts-and-all horror yarn re-told for the sole purpose of amusing others.


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